Happy Christmas, New Year, Epiphany, Sleep Day- what?

While trying to come up with a name for this post I googled January 3rd holidays, just for fun. With my new-found knowledge I'd like to wish you all a Happy Sleep Day.

Instead of talking about my Christmas presents and New Years resolutions I have this random blurb for you. 

I am theoretically opposed to swearing. I'm not sure if it was ever a conscious choice, or if I've always stretched the second commandment a little out of proportion, but that's the way things are. But I'd be the first to admit the usefulness of the common exclamatory remark, and of it's benefits. For one: sometimes you just need to vent your surprise/anger/mood. I, personally commandeer the term "darn!" (and variations thereof) as much as is physically possible. The second positive attribute, though related closely with the first, needs its own paragraph altogether.

One of my least favorite character flaws is my inability to think and act simultaneously. I can rest on one extreme or the other, but have never been blessed with the happy medium. 

When I'm in my "thinking" mindset I often toy with the idea of cussing, not from a legitimate compulsion to do so, but for its results. Let me paint you a picture.

There I am, in any given setting, being dwarfed by my surroundings, looking altogether peaceful and innocent. My mom comes in and strikes up a conversation. I smile and nod, then BAM! She's rolling on the floor, tears streaming from her eyes. Unpredictable!

I think it has something to do with the spontaneousness of it all. If you know me, then you have most likely never heard me utter anything less G rated than "darn". In fact, if you don't know me than you probably haven't, either.

Now, let me lead you to the other, far-off extreme of my personality. It is, to put it in a nutshell, my blond side. Who actually thinks before they speak anyway? Obviously not me...

There have been two memorable experiences of me swearing. Scratch that. I can hardly remember the first, so I'll just tack on the interesting bits of that story onto this second episode. Kind of like when you tell a dream.

Well that escalated quickly.

Ahem.

We're loosing 17 to 23. It's tense. The cold, California breeze picks up, sending shivers up my arms. I shift my weight nervously from foot to foot.

"SerVICE!"

The ball sails effortlessly over the net and my team repulses it. The rally has begun.

Bump. Set. Spike. Kill.

It bounced giddily from player to player. Our sad excuse for a spike is caught easily and sent soaring to me. It's perfect. I don't even have to run. I follow the ball's progress until it lands...on my elbow? A word escapes me as the ball shoots off the court.

I look around me. The faces of my teammates echo my own surprise, disappointment, amusement. Sorry, what? Why is he laughing? IT'S NOT FUNNY.

I realize that I'd not actually *heard* the word I said. The feeling of utter shame had simply escaped me in the form of a word. I do a speed rewind in my mind of the past two seconds. I can hear the word lingering in my mind, said with so much passion even now it makes my blood run cold:

*Darn* it".

The moral of the story: "darn it" is not as bad as you can get while trying to swear.